Dark Mother

I have spent a lifetime 

trying to break away,

trying to find myself

but always on the edge,

always on the outside

never quite belonging.

Even though I understood

that what she wanted me to be

was what she had wanted  to be,

I still followed her from love,

still bucked the trend of my peers

and wore the gloves in summer 

with the classic cut clothes 

that she’d wanted to wear,

even allowed my hair to curl

as it wanted to

as she wanted it to.

I thought I had escaped such love

when I made myself up

wore minis

or long skirts

controlled my curls

with an iron in my hand

And I did escape it, 

surely I did

escape

some 

of it.

But not all.

Not enough.

So even now I feel tethered

after all this time since her leaving,

since my losing her light 

and dark together

so I remain still 

unsure

of my 

own self.

https://hereticsloversmadmen.com/2024/03/25/dark-mother-lynn-white/