Dark Mother
I have spent a lifetime
trying to break away,
trying to find myself
but always on the edge,
always on the outside
never quite belonging.
Even though I understood
that what she wanted me to be
was what she had wanted to be,
I still followed her from love,
still bucked the trend of my peers
and wore the gloves in summer
with the classic cut clothes
that she’d wanted to wear,
even allowed my hair to curl
as it wanted to
as she wanted it to.
I thought I had escaped such love
when I made myself up
wore minis
or long skirts
controlled my curls
with an iron in my hand
And I did escape it,
surely I did
escape
some
of it.
But not all.
Not enough.
So even now I feel tethered
after all this time since her leaving,
since my losing her light
and dark together
so I remain still
unsure
of my
own self.
https://hereticsloversmadmen.com/2024/03/25/dark-mother-lynn-white/
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