Fish They called me ‘Fish’ which I thought somewhat unoriginal, but they were kind and fed me my favourite foods of prawns and chocolate and I opened my mouth and wiggled my fins to show my appreciation. Sometimes plastic bits had blown into my pond. I’d tested them for food worthiness and spat them straight out, so tasteless and with a tough unpleasant texture. I’d rather eat raspberries, well, perhaps not raspberries, but fish food, yes, I’d rather eat fish food. But I wouldn’t let my human friends know that this was an option. I was still concerned about Brexit and wanted to make sure that their stockpile of chocolate biscuits was adequate to see me through. When they give me a luscious big piece I always give them a big wet kiss in return. They seemed to like it and really it’s no trouble, they are so sweet. There are other issues that cause me concern. The frog they call Croaker told me that numbers of dolphins had washed up dead with pieces of pl...