Mr Joseph’s Mystery

There were four flats in our house,

two up, two down.

All had their own electricity meter,

although Mr Devin downstairs

connected his directly to the mains.

We always knew when he was washing

from the ferocious flash bangs.

The stairs light was on the House Meter

and the cost was included in the rent.

However in our flat, 

not every socket was the same

one mysteriously didn’t work at all.

Mr Devlin quickly explained.

that this socket was also on the House Meter.

He came with his screwdriver and sorted it.

Of course everything was then plugged in there

with an adaptor of gigantic proportions.

Mr Joseph, the landlord was mystified

at the size of the bills 

from the one bare bulb on the stairs.

He changed the bulb frequently 

for ones of increasingly low wattage

but still the bills stayed the same.

Eventually we were down to a fairy light

more suited to a Christmas tree

but still the bills stayed the same.

He pondered over the mystery frequently to us all

but we couldn’t help him solve it.

Then one day, he called unexpectedly,

just knocked and walked into our sitting room.

My flatmate reacted quickly,

“Oh, hello Mr Joseph, how are you?”she said

carefully and surreptitiously leaning over

to unplug the glowingly red multi bar electric fire.

We hoped he hadn’t noticed.

A few days later he came back with a screwdriver

and fiddled around with the socket for a bit.

Afterwards we had no more House Meter.

But not for long!

Mr Devlin soon came with his screwdriver and sorted it.

And Mr Joseph never solved his mystery.

https://www.samjokomagazine.com/dear-busybody